How To Be More Confident
Bonus post of the week - avoid self sabotage
Avoid Comparison & Stop Sabotaging Yourself
We live in a day in age in which it is very easy, in fact too easy, to compare yourself to others with social media channels like instagram, facebook, and youtube. Many people, as a result of constantly scrolling, find themselves less motivated and inspired than before the social media ages. So, who’s fault is it? Is it the people who post all their accomplishments? Or is it a equal to blame? I think it’s important to recognize that how someone makes you feel shines on your insecurities:
Why do you feel that way when you see someone flaunting themselves?
Is it because deep down that’s something you want, and are trying to figure out how to get it too?
Do you feel ashamed because they have something you want and therefore maybe you have feelings of jealousy or the like?
These are questions to ask yourself, and once you have the answer you’ll notice your self confidence start to improve because your focus is now on you, and not someone else; moreover, when you see a picture or video showing someone’s accomplishments you don’t quite know what they’ve been through or did to get to that point. God only knows what they went through.
Let me give you example….
In the female muscle world it’s not a cheap thing to participate in yet a lot of women get into it, and some may wonder “wow they look like they have it put together…”
Well, they don’t.
I’m probably the first to tell you that about 87% of the woman in the world of fitness/muscle world had to make money somehow to partake in these shows, and many of them, which is something I do not agree with and am against strongly, turn to “muscle worship” sessions. Look it up, and you’ll see how…weird….it is. For some women it turns into sex with a “fan” (men do it too). So you see these woman, and men, on stage showing their body, and little did you know they did something not many people would be appealed by. All for what? To look good and seem like they have it put together because they now have money to afford what they couldn’t before from these “services.”
It’s not only how much money you make, but also how you make your money.
Moral of the story is - don’t be so quick to compare yourself because quite frankly you really do not know what they did to get there. '
In the corporate america world I’ve heard some women sleep with their boss so they can get a raise so that they can go buy a home and afford that new fancy car, etc. etc.
Sometimes the story people paint you is manipulated so that you don’t know the cold and ugly, hard truth.
If you compare yourself to someone else’s story not only are you doing yourself a disservice, but you are also robbing yourself from your potential. The key is to listen to your thoughts, and feelings and tune into them when not feeling too confident. It’s OK to not feel your best all the time, and it’s OK to not having it together. You have to commit to yourself though.
I remind myself every day - we’re one day closer to dying so the time to making your goals a reality starts now!
Once you acknowledge that you are not feeling as confident then address the why behind it and from here you are golden because now you have control over your emotions rather than someone else influencing you to feel a certain way.
Don’t Assume
Don’t assume you don’t have what it takes to build a nice body, get stronger, or just feel all around better in your skin. Also don’t assume that people will think of you differently if you make different choices. People will always talk, and always have something negative to say regardless of the decision you make. So it’s best to dedicate your time to tasks that make you the most productive, and happiest. Happiness and enlightenment vibrates at the highest frequency unlike love. Many people say that being in a relationship is the best thing, and that the other person is your “better half.”
That is a bunch of bullshit.
If thats how you think of your partner, you are sacrificing your identity to be “one” with him/her. Why would you do that to yourself? No matter how close you are to someone, romantically or not, no one has your back like you have you back - literally.
In other words the only person you can truly rely on is you so make decisions that are best for you and everything else in your life will fall in line. I think this is a muscle that, with practice, will go on to be better developed so that you can develop “thick skin.” It’s a mindset where you are, in a literal sense, in control of your emotions and future.
Being in love with someone is great, but enlightenment with yourself is the highest of highs you can get to. To tap into this state then you need to get to know yourself. Once you understand, accept, and grow yourself your confidence follows through organically.
Kill Self Doubt
The formula for killing self doubt is
Drink 16 oz water upon awakening before any meals
Do 10 push ups in the morning before starting the day - every day
Walk at least 10k steps/day
Keep a journal of what you eat - when you keep a journal of what you eat you’ll be more conscious of what you’re putting in your body
Say outloud to yourself everyday “Today is a great day, I am strong, confident, and brave.”
If you do this for 90 days straight, I can guarantee you’ll see a shift in your vibration, but you have to say it with conviction. Even if you don’t think you are “strong, confident, and brave” say it to yourself anyways because your subconscious will hear you, and you will act on it subconsciously.
The difference between someone who has less confidence compared to another person is they both vibrate differently.
It’s not always the smartest person who wins, it’s the person with the more confidence and strategy to life that does.
People can smell bullshit so avoid trying to be like someone else - you will attract people who are like you so aim to be the best you can be.
Key Takeaways
You have to program your mind into believing in yourself. You must tell yourself positive reinforcement phrases like I wrote above, and say it everyday and this will transform your life. Some people think this is silly, but those are the same people who have low confidence.
Stay optimistic - notice I wrote optimistic and not positive. I think it’s good to have some negative feelings in you as that drives you to be a do better. Optimism though is hope and confidence. Hope has the chance of something negative happening, but you still have the nobility to face your fears, and tackle whatever it is in your life with head first, high, and proud.
What people say about your is none of your business, but what you say about you is all of your business.
Plus words can only hurt you if you let it.
Do this for you because no one can do you better than YOU!
Be well,
Yelena
For online coaching for health, nutrition, training and the like email espinozi.yelena@gmail.com